The Offer They Couldn't Refuse

 Well, I mean, a few of them tried, but I have that sticky way of getting some people to like me while everybody else just wants to do what they can to make me go away. I'm like a Midwestern Catholic Larry David.

Anyway, the offer.

Starting point: $220,000

Estimated repairs needed: A Googledy-Billion

So we needed to shave some scratch off this bad boy to make it even remotely feasible that we could do the remodel work and afford to be here.

What to offer?

After some back and forth with our agent, we settled on an opening offer of $210,000. This was hard to suck up, given our last home buying experience was in 2015-2016, a very different market. Still, I was impressed that our agent was willing to head out of the gate under list price. Bold.

But, she said, we should write a letter.

The Ethics of Writing "The Letter."

I have heard more lately about the questionable ethics of writing the homebuyer's "love letter." I struggle with this too. I mean, I love my parents, my dogs, and generally my spouse, but that's it. The rest of you can **** ********* *** ********* * ****** *********** ***. I think it's ridiculous to beg people for the privilege of spending my own money.

Back up: the "love letter" is a letter that the buyer writes to the seller to try to convince them to accept their offer. It often involves family photos, schmalz, and that script-y calligraphy font that basic folks put on barn boards in their homes.

Some states have begun to restrict how these letters can be used in transactions, and others have been banning them outright. The concern here is that they may add to the risk of violating fair housing laws. No doubt, this is shitty.

So what do the experts then recommend instead?

Giving up...

*Contingencies

*Inspections

*Repairs

Or offering more than list price. So the solution to not enticing the people with power to fuck over vulnerable people is to go fuck yourself. Cute.

Anyway, we wrote a letter. It was a good one. It was mostly pictures of our dogs and stories about apple trees. I can't tell you whether to write a letter, but I sure as hell can tell you to NEVER give up the right to an inspection, or to pay more than the place is worth. This will all become important later.